Can a person be alone for a long period of time and not feel like they need a romantic partner or a friend to talk to? Does one become a "loner" if they do.
I believe that every person should find in their own way how to be alone. Its important. Here is why I think we all should.
After a brake up with your romantic lover, we feel lonely, hurt, dumped, unloved, unlinked, we feel like the whole world has crashed on top of our heads and there is no way out. We seek comfort from family and friends...which helps...because they tell you everything we already know...so its temporary. So...we party and start meeting new people to help a numb the pain. Our friends are excited couse we are "single" and they have a new party buddy, and you are getting all the attention you need. Couse you are weak.
Sure you are a sexy party animal and all the boys and girls want you...do you realize that you have the pain still inside you.?Do you realize that its suppressing and its not going away?
You met someone only after a couple of days...or weeks. Oh its great! Who cares about your EX...what a looser. What was I thinking? Right?
Well the new person 9/10 will be the wrong person for you, because you have attracted someone like you, someone that is going through their own suppressed pain. Do you think it will last? Nope. Rebounds never do. Sooner or later it will end in a disaster.
So, you are hurt again. Not as bad this time, but you keep going... "more fish in the sea!"
Someone once told me in High School : " giving your self is like putting duct tape on your hairy arm...then you rip it...ouch!...use the same duct tape and place it on the same spot a min later...then rip it again...ouch but not as bad...do it now until it doesn't hurt anymore...".
We never give ourselves a chance to heal and be alone. Who are you? We give so much of ourselves to the people that we care so much about that we forget to learn about "ME".
Stop the cycle...just stop and think of who you are and what you want to become...the only way to find out is to be alone. Not a week or a month... once you are ready you will know.
Till next time,
DS
P.S. One day at a time
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Being alone is probably the hardest part after a break up. After you've lost that companionship.. the comfort zone.. everything feels so empty.. and you desperatley seek to fill that void. But it's just like you said, because we feel that way, we only attract someone like that and two broken hearts trying to become one is not a healthy foundation to begin a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to be alone right now and its not easy.. but as you say... one day at a time.
Thank you for your comment. Glad I could help
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